I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
