we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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