Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
