So drunk, too bad you don't want this
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
