i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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