Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
