My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
