my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
