I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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