you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
