I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
