I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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