I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The best revenge is premature balding
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
