I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
