let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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