I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
