Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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