your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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