I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
