no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you will always have a special place in my vag
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
