Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
