idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
