I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
