There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have tasted many bathrooms
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
