JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
