i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
50% drunk capacity currently
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
