Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
