so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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