hell yes lets make some ravioli
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize