On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize