i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
