No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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