I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just had sex bonerless
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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