I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
