I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
