My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize