omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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