Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
