Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
