just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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