I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
