This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can I color on your dick again?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize