And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
