The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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