I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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