I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
