i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
