I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
