I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
