it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
