problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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