go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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