Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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