no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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