He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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