i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
