i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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